The Art of Antagonization
by Reaching for Stars
Summary: T for swearing. Will never be M. YuffiexDenzel, eventually. Very eventually. Because one practiced, the art of antagonization leaves quite an impression...
1. Chapter 1

Okay, you know what? No one actually knows what Denzel acts like as a teen.  
So instead of playing him all nicey-nicey like usual, I've decided to make him meaner, stick him with Yuffie, and see what happens.  
Disclaimer: No, I don't own ff7. If I did, rest assured that Yuffentine or Yenzel would be a cannon pairing.

Don't like it? No flames, please. Just don't waste your time whining and stop reading.

_MIDGAR TIIIIIIIIIIME! I love summmmmmer!  
_  
Hey, Diary, it's me, GNEYKATWROW.  
Which is to say, Greastest Ninja Ever Yuffie Kisaragi Also The White Rose Of Wutai.  
You can just call me Yuffie, though. Or you'd be able to if you could talk, ha.  
Anywhoo, I just got to Tifa's place. I'm staying here for the entire summer! Except, you know, I have to go back to Wutai after.  
And then I'll have to get married.

Dad won't tell me who the guy is, probably so I don't hunt him down and kill him. He says that unless I can find someone just as good or better that I like, then I'm marrying the mystery man.  
I hate it. But I have to.  
So I'm enjoying my last few months of freedom with Tifa, Cloud, Marlene, and Denzel. I haven't seen any of them for a while, especially Marly and Denzel. I heard that he's my age; seventeen. It'll be interesting. Hopefully he'll be able to introduce me to more people my age. Who knows? He might even hook me up with a lucky find. Which means no marriage to mystery meat.  
As it is, he's at soccer practice right now and Marly's at a friend's house, so it's just me and Cloud. Tifa's working downstairs.  
Spikey's sitting across from me, in just a pair of old jeans and white socks.  
He has big feet.  
And nice abs, which I would SO be drooooooling over if Tifa didn't have the hots for him.  
As it is, I am just pretending not to be transfixed.  
He's reading a book.  
_The Old Man and the Sea,_ by Ernest Hemingway. That's what it says. On the cover there's an old man, water, and a fish.  
Boooooooooriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing.

"Hey, Cloud?"  
"Mnh?"  
"What's that book about?"  
"An old man. And a sea. A fish too."  
"Wow, tell me something I don't know..."  
"The man's name is Santiago. The fish is a Marlin."  
"Like a big swordfishy thing?"  
"Yes. Like a big swordfishy thing."  
"Oh. Okay... So... is it interesting?"  
"Yup."  
"Really interesting?"  
"Yup."  
"So the guy's fishing for a Marlin?"  
"Yup."  
"Why?"  
"He's a fisherman."  
"So why doesn't he just get some salmon or something?"  
"He wants to do something great."  
"Huh...like you?"  
"What?"  
"Well, you want to do something great too, right?"

"Forget it. Can you read to me?"  
"...Sure. From where I am or the beginning?"  
"Beginning's the best place to start, Spike-o."

_Ugh. Better go take a shower.  
_Denzel had just gotten home after soccer. It had been a grueling workout in the sun; needless to say, he didn't exactly smell like roses. A few strands of pale brown hair were sticking to his forehead, the tanned skin itching to be clean again.  
His turquoise eyes closed breifly as he wiped the hair to one side, practically dragging himself up the stairs. He felt like he'd just run a marathon- and, to be fair, forty laps dribbling a ball in the sun wasn't exactly a walk in the park.  
He heard Cloud reading aloud from a book. Something about an old man and baseball and a boy, and he wondered who Cloud was reading to. Something stirred in the back of his mind, but he was too tired to remember that Tifa had told him about someone visiting.  
He grabbed a towel, locking the bathroom door behind him, and then showered. Once he felt really clean, he got out, sopping wet and clad in nothing but a faded Bahamut-print towel.  
He didn't expect to find Cloud and Yuffie side-by-side on the couch on his way to his room, Cloud still reading about an old man.  
"Hey, Cloud...who's- oh, right, Yuffie." Now he remembered. Tifa had told him she'd be staying here.  
"Ssh," Yuffie shushed him, and made the mistake of looking at the guy.  
Let's just say that if Denzel wasn't adopted, you could say that hot bods ran in the family.  
She tried not to gape, failing miserably, and Denzel caught her looking. he raised an eyebrow, and she blushed, trying to focus on Santiago the fisherman and his marlin.  
"Take a picture. It'll last longer," Denzel couldn't help but say it, smirking, and walked off to his room.  
She'd been so busy checking him out that she hadn't noticed the once-or-thrice-over he gave her.

_Midgar, seventeenth year of my existence, first diary day_

JERK.  
I was SO NOT checking him out!  
...Much.

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Hope that at least put a smile on your face. : )


	2. Chapter 2

"Oh, Denzel, you're back!"  
The martial artist beamed at him, brown eyes cheery but tired. She'd been looking a little under the weather, actually, for about a month. It was odd.  
"Yeah, thanks for noticing, Teef." He joked, grinning at her.  
_You'd think he was a normal person, _Yuffie thought, rather vindictively, and continued to listen to Cloud's reading.

Tifa noticed the other two just then. "Oh, Yuffie! You're here! But... I didn't see you come into the bar..." She frowned, puzzled.  
"I, heh, used a window. I ended up in some dorky room filled with video game stuff and messy clothes and stuff. " Yuffie said, rather offhandedly.  
Denzel bristled. "Actually, that's my room."  
"Oh. Whoops. Well, guess I'll return this then." Yuffie grinned slyly, tossing him a wad of cash. He gaped in disbelief.  
"I had this in a _safe_. This is my life savings!"  
"Really? Gee, it's not much. I get more allowance in a month."  
"Yeah, well, you're a princess." Denzel muttered, stuffing the money in his pocket rather bitterly.  
"I guess. Still though... nerdy room much?" She taunted, grinning. This visit was gonna be more fun than she'd thought. She now had three months to put the jerk in his place.  
"Yeah, and what's your room like? Chock-full of materia you hoarde like some kind of mentally retarded dragon?" Denzel shot back, raising a mocking eyebrow. She frowned, eyes narrowing.  
"Better that than a bunch of computer games. At least I can _actually _fight people with the stuff in my room."  
"Really. Well, whatever makes you feel like you're actually useful, I guess."  
"Oh, that's rich, nerd-boy. Like clicking away on a control system is useful! I need actual skill to pull that stuff off-"  
"Which explains why you always need other people to save your ass."

Cloud and Tifa exchanged bewildered looks, eyebrows raised.

"Guys..." She winced.  
"Jerk!"  
"Ho."  
"WHAT?!"  
"You heard me."  
"OH YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOO DID NOT JUST-"  
"Guys."  
"Oh, yeah, I did, princess. What, too much for your single brain cell to take-"  
"Guys!"  
"YOU LITTLE-"  
"GUYS!" Tifa yelled, stunning everyone into silence. "Honestly! Marlene is more mature than you two! Denzel, go to your room. I want it clean in an hour. Yuffie... you can read with Cloud, I guess."  
"Sorry Tifa." Yuffie mumbled, pulling on an appropriately remorseful expression.  
"It's fine, Yuffie." Tifa left, sighing heavily.  
Yuffie grinned at Denzel again, eyes teasing.  
Grumbling, he gave her the finger and left.


	3. Chapter 3

I can't remember if it was on this one or another story that someone commented on how this pairing was stupid because Denzel is twelve and Yuffie is eighteen in the game. Since I'm not bothered enough to go look it up, I'll just place a reply here.  
1) Did you think I didn't know that? I did. I don't care.  
2) Okay, let's think. Six year difference between Yuffie and Denzel, right? That's _so_ stupid, I agree, _especially_ since the popular pairing is Yuffentine, which only has an age difference of, like, thirty years! Wow, stupid me for writing this!  
3) I tweaked the ages. Comprende? I know I didn't mention it, but please, have you ever heard of a smoking hot twelve year old? Probably not. They're both seventeen or something here. Anyways, instead of just pointing out random crap that you probably know won't stop me from continuing this story, why don't you just close the window and go look up some yuffentine? Really. Don't waste your energy. Leave me to my yuffie-denzel fun.

That's it that's all. Now, on with the show.

"You know, Yuffie, you should probably give Denzel a chance."  
Yuffie sniffed, eyeing Cloud with partial disdain. "Oh yeah? Why would I do that?"  
Cloud just looked at her. "I think you two could get along well if you set your minds to it."  
"Yeah, sure. He hasn't got a mind to set!"  
"I heard that!" Denzel called angrily. Yuffie snorted.  
"Yeah, like I care. What are you gonna do, retard? Drool on me?"  
"Hey, I wasn't the one drooling-"  
"Yeah, okay, fine. I admit, I thought you were hot. Until you opened your mouth." Yuffie retorted, and Denzel shut up, fuming silently as he cleaned his room. Cloud continued reading aloud to Yuffie, who was still occupied with vengeful, nasty thoughts and thus not paying much attention.

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

"Denzel." Tifa knocked on his door the next morning, waking him up.  
"Ehhh?" He groaned, swatting at his alarm clock before realizing someone was actually talking to him.  
"Yuffie's going to come with you for soccer." She told him. That woke him up.  
"What- but mom! The team is for guys!" He exclaimed, tumbling out of bed.  
"I talked to the coach. She says it's fine, and that they needed an extra player anyways since Joey is injured." Tifa called. "Please, Denzel, just make an effort. Cloud can't read to her all day, and if she got lost I'd be sick with worry."  
"Way to guilt-trip me," Denzel muttered, opening the door. "Yeah, fine, I'll take her there. But I'm not promising to be her bestest buddy or whatever."  
"Thank you, Denzel," She said, ruffling his hair fondly. "Now hurry and get ready. She's already downstairs in uniform."

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

"You know how to play soccer, right?" Denzel asked, just to make sure.  
"Yeah," She said, rolling her eyes. "Duh. I play back home all the time."  
"Good. I don't want to waste time teaching you." He retorted, walking faster. She sped up as well, still not impressed.  
"If I needed to be taught, they'd probably send someone with at least a few brain cells to do the job." She hissed.  
"I dunno. Wouldn't you feel stupid in comparison?" He asked, feigning innocence.  
"Ha ha," She replied, sarcastic as can be. They were now at the playing field, where a tall, female coach and many seven- and sixteen year old boys waited.  
"How's life, Strife?" Called a blond, blue-eyed boy. He was tall and slim, like a young tree, and looked fast.  
"Hey, Gray!" Denzel yelled back, and suddenly Yuffie felt very out of place.  
"Who's the chick?" Gray asked, once he had run over to his friend and finished a typical noogie-filled jock-ish male teenager greeting.  
"Ah, she's-" Denzel started, before Yuffie cut him off.  
"Yuffie Kisaragi. I'm supposed to replace someone."  
"Wow, she retained some info for once!" Denzel exclaimed, feigning shock. "Good job, Yuffie!"  
"Yeah, that would be Joey. He broke his tailbone." Gray replied, ignoring his friend. "Nice to meet you." Then he paused. "Wait, Kisaragi?"  
Denzel groaned, rolling his eyes. "Oh, come ON. We seriously have already had this exact same convo about my dad."  
"Like the ninja princess chick from AVALANCHE?" Gray asked.  
"Dude, how many Yuffies do you think visit my parents?" Denzel inquired.  
"Yeah, that's me." Yuffie said, grinning. "I'm here for the summer."  
"Unfortunately," Denzel added, earning a glare from Yuffie. Gray looked from one to the other, then grinned.  
"Are you two dating?"  
"WHAT?!" The pair screeched, looking as if he'd suggested that they try slowly pulling out their own nails, rolling in the blood of dead babies, and setting themselves on fire.  
"I'll take that as a no," Gray chuckled, amused.  
"That's not even funny," Denzel said, staring.  
"Like I would go out with that idiotic jerkwad," Yuffie agreed.  
"It's not like you're any better. At least I'm not a rich-bitch princess with a superiority complex."  
"At least I'm not a video-game obsessed asshole whose only sex life will involve masturbating to pictures from World of Warquest!"  
"See," Gray interjected, "That is exactly what I'm talking about. You two have the whole bickering married couple vibe going on. It's hilarious."  
"It's not funny in the least," Denzel said, shaking his head.  
"For once I agree with him." Yuffie added, nodding.  
"How long have you two known each other?" Gray asked.  
"Since yesterday, but that was long enough to figure out the depth of his retardation," Yuffie said, crossing her arms.  
Gray just shook his head, still smiling.  
"Hey, you three! Get over here!" Coach called. They caught up with the rest of the team.  
"Okay, boys, this is Yuffie Kisaragi. Yes, she is indeed female, shut up. I don't want whining, I don't want sexism, and above all I just plain do not want sex, sex jokes, sexual offers, sexual comments, or anything of the sort. Are we clear?"  
"Yes ma'am," They replied, once the giggles had stopped.  
"Alright. Well, welcome to the team, Yufffie. Okay, everyone, today we're doing pretty much the same thing as yesterday-" A few groans sounded. "-and we'll keep doing it until we all get it right. After half an hour, we'll play a little game if you behave. Are we clear?"  
"Yes ma'am."  
"Then what the heck are you waiting for? Get to it!"

"How...are...you...DOING...that?" Gray puffed, barely keeping up with Yuffie, who was keeping a constant, steady pace with surprising ease. In fact, she wasn't even out of breath.  
"Ninja training. And AVALANCHE." Yuffie replied, saving most of her breath for running. "Pace yourself. It gets easy."  
"A little late for that," Denzel remarked, from ahead of them. He tended to shoot forward, lose energy and drop back, then regain energy and shoot forward again. "Halfway done already."  
Gray shrugged awkwardly, setting into a pace. Yuffie nodded approvingly, slowing down a bit so he could catch up.  
"Good job." She told him, and he grinned.  
"You're...right. It is...easier," He managed.  
"I'm always right." She half-joked.  
"I'll try to remember that." He laughed.  
In front of them, Denzel rolled his eyes. His energy was giving out a bit, but he kept going. Hopefully, he'd finish before Yuffie.

Much, much later, he was still going. It was the last two laps, and Yuffie suddenly abandoned her pace.  
"What are you doing?" Gray called, speeding up as well.  
"Sprint at the end. You have energy." She called back quickly, taking off. Denzel tried to sprint, running more on willpower than on actual energy. He'd wasted too much energy beforehand, and she had almost lapped him when she reached the finish.  
"YES!" She fist-pumped, grinning madly, and then started walking. Once she'd walked one lap, she sat down on the grass, pulling a water bottle (not caring whose) over and drinking from it slowly.  
"Nice job," Coach encouraged. "Have you done this before?"  
"Yep," Yuffie replied. "I played soccer when I was a kid. And then, well, I had martial arts and endurance stuff, as well as travelling."  
"Good. I can see you'll fit right in," Coach said, smiling, and Yuffie felt herself liking the woman. Especially since she hadn't spewed any crap about "pulling the team forward" or "being a valuable asset".  
Denzel finished walking about then, collapsing on the grass.  
"Man, what a workout." He groaned, looking for his water. "Hey, who drank out of my bottle?"  
"Oh, was that yours? I didn't notice," Yuffie replied, not bothered in the slightest.  
"My name was on it," He retorted, glaring. "Can you read?"  
Yuffie rolled her eyes. "Gee, no need to get so worked up. Just find mine."  
"Like I'd drink out of that," He muttered, but fished it out of the bag anyways.  
"Next time, just drink from your own, Yuffie," Coach intervened, sensing a rivalry.  
"Yeah, sure." Yuffie agreed, still completely unfazed. Which, of course, just made Denzel even more annoyed.

_-------------------_

I promise to update soon!


End file.
